As a working mom, I think I have yet to find my true stride. The job/family balance is one that we're always scrambling to achieve, but always seems just out of reach. I do know some moms who navigate these waters beautifully and yet still wish they had - more time, better childcare, higher income, (fill in your need here). I've been lucky enough to have a wonderful family and wonderful career choices - putting the two together in concert can be a challenge.
So I'm not tied to any one particular path (well, I'm sort of committed to the whole "I've had children and now I have to see them through" thing), but in my working life I'm always open to change and growth. Such potential can be overwhelming - so many choices. So, instead of narrowing down a particular path I'd like to follow, I thought it would be easier to eliminate those career opportunities I choose not to pursue.
Here are a few things I will not be when I grow up:
1. Neurosurgeon - Brains? EWWWWWWWWWWW!
2. Mrs. America - Not unless sarcastic wit becomes a talent category
3. Gardener - Look, at the end of the day I'm just glad if I can keep my kids alive, never mind a bunch of plants
4. Crystal Meth dealer - This is not because of my disrespect for the drug culture; I just don't have enough motivation to start a home business
5. Podiatrist - Feet? EWWWWWWWWWWW!
6. Hand Model - I come from Portuguese stock - mine are the decedents of hands that shredded codfish 12 hours a day.
7. Spy - I can't even keep it a secret when I bought something on clearance at Marshall’s
8. Professional list maker - This is really hard
What will you never be?
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Well m’lady….ask and you shall receive…quotes from alpha male movies gift wrapped and presented to the beta mom—today an alpha male favorite and workerbee chestnut … “Office Space”
Peter, Michael, and Samir are chatting as they hang around the printer:
Peter Gibbons: “Our high school guidance counselor used to ask us what you'd do if you had a million dollars and you didn't have to work. And invariably what you'd say was supposed to be your career. So, if you wanted to fix old cars then you're supposed to be an auto mechanic.”
Samir: “So what did you say?”
Peter: “I never had an answer. I guess that's why I'm working at Initech.”
Michael Bolton: “No, you're working at Initech because that question is bulls**t to begin with. If everyone listened to her, there'd be no janitors, because no one would clean s**t up if they had a million dollars.”
I'm prepared never to wait tables. I'll do a lot of crap stuff -- I've pretended to be the voice of a roll of toilet paper, for example. But people bothering me all the time to bring them stuff? (I guess it's mostly because I don't want to become a murderer.)
Or, to continue the classic movie quote, how about this one from "Say Anything."
"I don't want to sell anything, buy anything, or process anything as a career. I don't want to sell anything bought or processed, or buy anything sold or processed, or process anything sold, bought, or processed, or repair anything sold, bought, or processed. You know, as a career, I don't want to do that."
I will never be in charge of anything related to math, because I'm not even good enough at it to count the reasons why I can't do something with math.
I will never be the housekeeper in charge of putting my husband's clothing away, because by the time I get mine and two kids done, he is on his own. Even if he did wash and fold all the clothes.
What else will you never be?
Um, as cool as me?!
Sorry, that was too easy.
still like me?
Not only do I still like you Mike, I respect you even more!
Jeff and Chuck - I'm lovin the movie quotes. Office Space kills me every time I see it, even when they play it 100 times a day on Comedy Central.
And that John Cusak - deep.
Jeff - "People bothering me all the time to bring them stuff" - you'll never wait tables or be a mommy. (that, plus the lack of a uterus.)
Anna - Amen, sister...why do you think I had to stop the list at 8?
I agree with you on the husband thing...especially since I'm pretty sure there's no money in it for us.
Telephone repairman -- afraid of heights.
Miner -- afraid of depths.
Government employee -- afraid of the government.
Electrician -- terrified of electricity.
Professional smartass -- I'm trying, oh how I'm trying, but so far no one's willing to pay me for it.
As funny as Beta Mom -- doubtful, but it's something to shoot for.
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