Friday, August 24, 2007

Just because it rhymes with "fun" doesn't mean it is.

For reasons which are not entirely clear to me, I have decided I want train to run a 5k.

(Now, before you put your Beta Mom bookmark in the trash, please don't panic. I'm not one of those self-deprecating Bridget Jones wannabe women who's going to chronicle my weight and complain about my "wobbly parts" etc. Bodies are personal, eat what you eat, exercise, don't exercise, whatever. However, I know that finding time to exercise, setting personal goals and figuring out what to do with all the laundry that’s on the treadmill are commonly shared dilemmas. So, I'm posting.)

Back to the running. Up until now, I have found running completely unnecessary. Even in peak physical form (sometime during the first Clinton administration? ) I would avoid running at all costs. Unless a man was chasing me with a knife, I refused to run. Running from danger seemed appropriate. Or if there was cake. Yes, running from danger or running to cake.

And if the knife the man was carrying was a cake knife? Well, then knife man and I would run together.

And it is true that while I stated earlier I'm not entirely clear on my interior motives, my POSTERIOR motives should be enough to spur me on. I am much a feared that I've transformed from something that once resembled this: (for those of you who can't open this picture...imagine the curvacious lovliness that was Mae West)

to somthing that's more akin to this (again, for the imagineers out there.....picture a Dr. Seuss character...droopy being the primary effect we're going for):

Fortunately, I have friends who serve as motivation. My friend Katherine ran the entire NYC marathon. In one day....all at once...without stopping...or taking a cab. My friend Michelle has done a triathlon (she'll tell you it's a "mini-triathlon" but it's all the same in my book.) My most recent inspiration comes from a visit with a former mentor who's been doing the Cool Runnings "Couch to 5k" training program.

Anything that starts with me on the couch is my kind of training program.

I feel very optimistic about my plan based on the success of previous training programs. My "couch to fridge" regimen of '04, for example. As well as the "couch to bathroom" of early '05 (which was tricky because it involved a flight of stairs). And the mother of them all, the "couch to fridge to bathroom to couch" triathlon of '06.

I'll keep you posted.


Mike said...

you go, beta mom!

FBW said...

Hey Beta Mom,
I applaud your renewed effort to get healthy(er).
Personally, I only run when chased but in recent years I've learned to walk REALLY FAST on the treadmill.
I don't do marathons either but I do like to hike...which is to say to walk in the woods really far from point A to point B.
It helps to build endurance when I am given my list of commands otherwise known as the "honey do" list.
Yet I still ended up sucking in the gut all day during MK's Last Hurrah :).
Worry not however, if you still have posterior concern issues, I'll be happy to stop by on my next run through New England and you can partake in FanBoyWonder's Squat Thrust Seminar.
No, it's not what you think--it's much, much worse. :)
Be good!

Absolutely Bananas said...

ooh... you're one brave woman. Good luck with the running! And I love the title of this post, by the way!

beta mom said...

Thanks all! So far in my training program I've made an awesome music mix for my ipod and carbo-loaded (athletes are supposed to do that, right Mike?)

Chuck - FanBoyWonder's Squat Thrust Seminar just makes me laugh.

Thanks for stopping by, Absolutely Bananas - I love your site, especially the recent Haiku contest!

Jennifer aka Binky Bitch said...

Good luck to you! I started the Couch to 5K program, the key word being STARTED. I haven't actually continued it, but I promise to do so if the flipping weather would ease up a bit.

Anyway, good luck to you.

LOVE the picture of the fruit of your loins. (And your moniker!)

Smiling Mom said...

Oh man. I'm not a fan of running. Hubby always tries to get me to run. But I tell him, Hey, you knew who I was when you married me....

He's training for a 10K and doing this walk/run program that seems to be very effective.... If you want more info about it, let me know and I can get the actual program name for you.

beta mom said...

Thanks Jennifer for stopping by - yeah, the running is torture - I HATE IT! But then it feels so good when I stop running that I want to do it all over again. I'm sure the desire will pass and I'll be back to the couch!

Smiling Mom - so good to see you here - I love the picture on your post today! Thanks for the offer about the info - the training program I'm doing is a walk/run sort of thing....which makes me look like a schizophrenic dork starting/stopping/starting/stopping as I amble down our streets!

cyberpenguin said...

Hahaha! Very humorous blog! I can totally relate to what you've written. Now, you might not have Bridget Jones's attitude or body image issues, but you've certainly have a hilarious sense of humor just like her's! ;-)

I too applaud your efforts, as I'm also training for a 5K (Couch to 5K Program). My running blog,, boldly states that the blog is "a chronicle of my efforts to train for a marathon," but right now, I can't think that far ahead! ;-) I'm sure you can relate to that! ;-)

Well maybe for both of us, it'll be first conquering a 5K & then.... the world! ;-)

You can count me in as one of your subscribers. Perhaps we can get inspiration from reading each other's blogs! ;-)

Good luck with your training!

foolery said...

I'm not familiar with that one word you used . . . EX-CER-something? Will you be explaining that soon?