Sunday, July 8, 2007
Friday, July 6, 2007
Where dreams come true - ish....
(Forgive the delay in this somewhat time-sensitive topic; I'm working on Beta vacation time, which is almost like moving backwards, except without so much work.)
While perusing the "news" this past week (i.e. watching the Harry Potter trailer for the umpteenth time and cruising Craigslist for free stuff) I came across this bit about anticipated 4th of July celebrations.
"At Walt Disney World in Orlando, Fla., officials plan to pronounce citizenship on 1,000 people at a "Dreams Come True" ceremony near Cinderella's castle. Singers Gloria Estefan and Lee Greenwood are expected to make appearances. Later, new citizens will head down Main Street USA for a parade in their honor."
Do you think when our founding fathers drafted the Declaration of Independence this is the kind of thing they had in mind?
Please don't misunderstand, I'm all for immigration and am happy to welcome our new citizens. I say throw the doors wide open - why should we hog all of the Walmarts, monster truck rallies and American Idol episodes for ourselves simply because we had the good fortune to be born here? But I have to wonder - if you're sworn in on the steps of a pretend castle in the presence of costumed characters are you a citizen, or a citizketeer? Have you dreamt of the day when you gather your family around and celebrate your newly acquired status with wine, bread, salt, and Dippin' Dots?
(Truthfully, I am a Disney fan. This is not something I can readily admit in the academic atmosphere of my workplace, but I know I'm safe here with my trusted friends, or lovely strangers who happened upon this blog because they were, in fact, looking for "better mom's blog". Anywho....I'm a total sucker for the place. I don't love it for the children's sake, either; in fact, it would be a lot easier to get around the place without them. But, unlike the cats, we have to take them with us on vacation, so we go.)
I would think that after such an idyllic start, the rest of your life as a citizen would seem somewhat mundane. If Disney World is going to hold itself up as the ultimate American experience for our new countrymen and women they should responsibly add some attractions that represent the truth about the ins and outs of daily life. Rides such as Reality Raceway, Mortgage Mountain, Slippin' Salary and the Tower of Terrible Twos come to mind.
Perhaps a whole new park is in order? Do you think people will pay $240 a day to come to my house?
While perusing the "news" this past week (i.e. watching the Harry Potter trailer for the umpteenth time and cruising Craigslist for free stuff) I came across this bit about anticipated 4th of July celebrations.
"At Walt Disney World in Orlando, Fla., officials plan to pronounce citizenship on 1,000 people at a "Dreams Come True" ceremony near Cinderella's castle. Singers Gloria Estefan and Lee Greenwood are expected to make appearances. Later, new citizens will head down Main Street USA for a parade in their honor."
Do you think when our founding fathers drafted the Declaration of Independence this is the kind of thing they had in mind?
Please don't misunderstand, I'm all for immigration and am happy to welcome our new citizens. I say throw the doors wide open - why should we hog all of the Walmarts, monster truck rallies and American Idol episodes for ourselves simply because we had the good fortune to be born here? But I have to wonder - if you're sworn in on the steps of a pretend castle in the presence of costumed characters are you a citizen, or a citizketeer? Have you dreamt of the day when you gather your family around and celebrate your newly acquired status with wine, bread, salt, and Dippin' Dots?
(Truthfully, I am a Disney fan. This is not something I can readily admit in the academic atmosphere of my workplace, but I know I'm safe here with my trusted friends, or lovely strangers who happened upon this blog because they were, in fact, looking for "better mom's blog". Anywho....I'm a total sucker for the place. I don't love it for the children's sake, either; in fact, it would be a lot easier to get around the place without them. But, unlike the cats, we have to take them with us on vacation, so we go.)
I would think that after such an idyllic start, the rest of your life as a citizen would seem somewhat mundane. If Disney World is going to hold itself up as the ultimate American experience for our new countrymen and women they should responsibly add some attractions that represent the truth about the ins and outs of daily life. Rides such as Reality Raceway, Mortgage Mountain, Slippin' Salary and the Tower of Terrible Twos come to mind.
Perhaps a whole new park is in order? Do you think people will pay $240 a day to come to my house?
Wednesday, July 4, 2007
Cleaning the shed
Well, the shed excavation has begun. A geologic expedition uncovering of the layers of our lives.
I am a recovering hoarder. It has been 67 days since I last hoarded. One day at a time, I resist the urge to collect. It's not as easy as it sounds, you know. There are temptations everywhere. There I'll be, enjoying quality time with friends, when I'll see one out of the corner of my eye. A pusher. You know the kind - all smiles, pretending to be your best friend, buttering you up, when all they want to do is unload their clutter onto you:
"Hey, howya' doin'? You look great - is your hair different? That is a fabulous color on you. You know, you're going to think I'm crazy, but I was just thinking how great this electronic salad spinner/egg timer would look in your kitchen. Come on, it's just a little piece of plastic. What's it gonna hurt? Everyone's got one. You know you want it."
And I do - I want that salad spinner so bad I can taste it. I envision a life of ideally moist yet crisp lettuce topped with perfectly cooked eggs and I can't help myself. I cannot resist the lure of free items. And my shed shows it, because we all know the rest of the story. The crisper never gets used, my lettuce remains soggy, and eventually the appliance takes its proper place in the strata of my collecting world. I won't, nay, CAN'T get rid of it, of course, because it was FREE.
I'd like to take a moment to shift blame, if I may. I was genetically doomed from the beginning. My parents are collectors, as were their parents, and their parents before. I imagine my parents at the hospital after my birth, packing up to take me home for the first time:
"Honey, do you have the little hat she came with? How about the blankets? Just one? There's three more over there on that other baby - just grab a couple of those, I'm sure no one will mind. How about those diaper pins? Bottles? Towels? Maybe that incubator light? Television? You know what, better grab that placenta too, you just never know."
What chance did I have?
More to come later on this.
I am a recovering hoarder. It has been 67 days since I last hoarded. One day at a time, I resist the urge to collect. It's not as easy as it sounds, you know. There are temptations everywhere. There I'll be, enjoying quality time with friends, when I'll see one out of the corner of my eye. A pusher. You know the kind - all smiles, pretending to be your best friend, buttering you up, when all they want to do is unload their clutter onto you:
"Hey, howya' doin'? You look great - is your hair different? That is a fabulous color on you. You know, you're going to think I'm crazy, but I was just thinking how great this electronic salad spinner/egg timer would look in your kitchen. Come on, it's just a little piece of plastic. What's it gonna hurt? Everyone's got one. You know you want it."
And I do - I want that salad spinner so bad I can taste it. I envision a life of ideally moist yet crisp lettuce topped with perfectly cooked eggs and I can't help myself. I cannot resist the lure of free items. And my shed shows it, because we all know the rest of the story. The crisper never gets used, my lettuce remains soggy, and eventually the appliance takes its proper place in the strata of my collecting world. I won't, nay, CAN'T get rid of it, of course, because it was FREE.
I'd like to take a moment to shift blame, if I may. I was genetically doomed from the beginning. My parents are collectors, as were their parents, and their parents before. I imagine my parents at the hospital after my birth, packing up to take me home for the first time:
"Honey, do you have the little hat she came with? How about the blankets? Just one? There's three more over there on that other baby - just grab a couple of those, I'm sure no one will mind. How about those diaper pins? Bottles? Towels? Maybe that incubator light? Television? You know what, better grab that placenta too, you just never know."
What chance did I have?
More to come later on this.
Tuesday, July 3, 2007
Vacation!
It's my vacation! Now, for many people a vacation brings with it a relaxing change of pace, a lessening of responsibility, perhaps a jaunt away from home. For this working mom, the stakes are much higher - I have just a precious few days to pack in all of the quality time that I fret I'm missing when I'm away working at the salt mines. All of my hopes and dreams for maintaining a meaningful relationship with my family that is balanced with my own professional development fall into this magical week.
Seven days ripe with potential.
I will plan excursions that are both educational and entertaining.
I will make meals from scratch with ingredients that I've purchased at the Farmer's Market.
I will French braid my daughter's hair every day.
I will pack picnics for the beach.
I will start an exercise plan.
I will clean the shed.
I will reconnect with my husband.
I will be both patient and inspiring.
But first I will eat an entire box of popsicles and watch six straight hours of Law and Order.
Seven days ripe with potential.
I will plan excursions that are both educational and entertaining.
I will make meals from scratch with ingredients that I've purchased at the Farmer's Market.
I will French braid my daughter's hair every day.
I will pack picnics for the beach.
I will start an exercise plan.
I will clean the shed.
I will reconnect with my husband.
I will be both patient and inspiring.
But first I will eat an entire box of popsicles and watch six straight hours of Law and Order.
Monday, July 2, 2007
You might be a Beta Mom if....
you've ever left an IOU from the tooth fairy under your child's pillow.
Sunday, July 1, 2007
Oreos for breakfast
In a recent comment, one of my favorite Beta moms, Robin, mentioned that Oreos are the current breakfast of champions in her house. Now, not only do I approve, but I applaud her for her attempts to provide her children with a nutritionally balanced breakfast. This brings me to a little game I like to call "Find the Food Groups". Let's use Oreos as our example:
Grains - Well, this is obvious. The two cookies that comprise the Oreo "sandwich" provide a stable base for our pyramid of health. (Nutritional tip - the darker the grain, the healthier the bread; I'm sure the same applies to cookies.)
Dairy - Hello? "creme filling"? (Remember, correct spelling is optional. This is also true for anything refered to as "froot".)
Meats/Protein - Since dairy can be a good source of protein, I think we'll use our good friend "creme filling" again. To make sure you're getting adequate nutrients, better to get the Double Stuff Oreos.
Fruit - I'm having a harder time finding the fruit in an Oreo, but the truth is I have a friend who's a nutritionist, and she says that too much fruit is not good for you because of the sugar content, so it's probably better that there's no fruit.
Fat - Considering all of the wholesome goodness we've discovered in our Oreos, I think a little bit of fat is okay.
See how it works? Play along at home!
Grains - Well, this is obvious. The two cookies that comprise the Oreo "sandwich" provide a stable base for our pyramid of health. (Nutritional tip - the darker the grain, the healthier the bread; I'm sure the same applies to cookies.)
Dairy - Hello? "creme filling"? (Remember, correct spelling is optional. This is also true for anything refered to as "froot".)
Meats/Protein - Since dairy can be a good source of protein, I think we'll use our good friend "creme filling" again. To make sure you're getting adequate nutrients, better to get the Double Stuff Oreos.
Fruit - I'm having a harder time finding the fruit in an Oreo, but the truth is I have a friend who's a nutritionist, and she says that too much fruit is not good for you because of the sugar content, so it's probably better that there's no fruit.
Fat - Considering all of the wholesome goodness we've discovered in our Oreos, I think a little bit of fat is okay.
See how it works? Play along at home!
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